1) My audience is the customer service department for the hilton hotels. I wrote to them formally calling the hotel theirs and their responsibility. I tried to place the blame on them for what my problems were with them. I did not write maliciously, however. My goal was not to attack them but to explain what my problem was and ask them for just compensation. Coming across as angry in a letter will be detrimental to your point.
2)My first paragraph explained when i stayed there began to tell them what my problem with them was. My next two paragraphs further explained the problems i had with their hotel. My last paragraph, however, summed up my entire letter and in this paragraph i asked them to reimburse me for the duration of my stay. My goal was to explain the problem with just enough detail so at the end i can ask them for compensation and they would have to grant it to me.
3)I feel my first paragraph needs to be reworked. I think it could be separated into two paragraphs.
1)Hotel chains can be a pain . Big corparations are tough to navigate to get proper satisfaction. I've done it before.It sounds like you have a good mindset for the task.
ReplyDelete2)Good formation can often be as important as how and to whom you route your complaint.
3)I plan on reviewing your thoughts and hitting the writing lab before putting out my final product.
What do you consitute as just enough detail? Do you mention what happened and how you felt? Do you offer suggestions for how to solve the problems the hotel chain might be having?
ReplyDeleteJust enough detail is explaining the situation without overdoing it. You don't want to go into so much detail that the reader loses interest. I do mention what happened and how i felt. I do offer suggestions on how they could be more effiecent and how they could rectify the situation with me.
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